Welcome to Issue #17 of The Quench Report, the newsletter that raises a glass and delivers the latest and greatest in Beverage Alcohol and the broader Beverage category.

What’s on tap for today:

• 🍺 ABI sets eyes on Beatbox

• 🥃 Diageo's new CEO earned the nickname "Drastic Dave" – uh oh

• 🆕 Aplos Secures $5m in new funding

• ♨️ Hot Jobs - Career opportunities bubbling up in beverages

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WHAT’S ON TAP - UPCOMING

📊 Nov 25
• Nielsen data through Nov 15
• Circana data through Nov 16

Dec 3
• Morgan Stanley Global Consumer & Retail Conference - Celsius

Dec 4
• Brown-Forman Q2 FY’26 Results

🍺 ABI TO BUY BEATBOX?

The rumors were flying last week that ABI was in talks to acquire Beatbox for $700m.

If you've wandered through a convenience store lately, you've definitely spotted Beatbox. Those boxes are aggressively colorful. Check out the slide below for a few more facts on Beatbox 👇️ 

🧠Our Thoughts

On that multiple: Some folks online are scratching their heads at the reported 5x multiple. But here's the thing, they're probably not actually paying that. If Beatbox's TTM revenue is closer to ~$225m, ABI is likely looking at more like 3x based on 2025 projections. For context, Ghost energy (another ABI investment) sold to KDP for around 3x late last year.

Distributor relief? This doesn't nearly make up for the potential loss of Ghost and Alani, but ABI-aligned distributors can breathe a little easier knowing Beatbox isn't going anywhere.

Fungibility: Here's something most people outside the industry don't realize – Beatbox is mostly wine-based, but they also have malt versions. The fact they can play in both sandboxes is pretty brilliant. Consumers don't really care what's in the box (pun intended), and it's a good reminder that more brands should be exploring multiple bases to navigate those state-by-state channel restrictions / opportunities.

🥃 MEET SIR DAVE LEWIS - NEW DIAGEO CEO

Diageo appointed Sir Dave Lewis as their new CEO last week, effective January 1, 2026. And can we talk about the great timing? Diageo dropped a disappointing Q1 trading statement on Friday, August 6th, but Lewis wasn't announced until the following business day. Dodged that awkward intro call, didn't he?

What does this likely mean for Diageo? - here is some background on Diageo’s new CEO:

At Unilever, the nickname “Drastic Dave” was a reflection of his executive decisions which included reducing the numbers of products from 1600 to 400, and cutting jobs which led to a decrease of 40% in company expenditure. What it may mean for Diageo:

• Divestitures are coming - Captain Morgan and their beer business are the obvious candidates. If you're a company with acquisition ambitions, you should already be running the numbers on these.
  

• The LVMH wildcard – Don't forget Diageo owns a 34% stake in Moet Hennessy. Could something happen there? Maybe.
  

• Dividend cuts? Possible in the short-term. He did it at Tesco, so there's precedent.
  

• Cost savings = layoffs – Sadly, we'll probably see a sizable "restructuring" program announced in Q1 or Q2. Not fun, but seems inevitable with this playbook.

Look, change is uncomfortable, but Diageo needs a shake-up. Lewis knows how to cut the fat without killing the patient, he did it at Tesco and left the company in better shape. Could be painful in the short term, but this might be exactly what the business needs. We'll be watching closely.

🆕 APLOS SECURES $5M IN NEW FUNDING

The headline: Another week, another functional NA beverage raises money. Meet Aplos, the functional, non-alcoholic spirit designed with the belief that life should be sipped slowly.

Check out their portfolio here: 👇️ 

🧠Our Thoughts

Simple effective branding - The branding is simple and effective. Fun fact: "Aplos" means "simple" in Greek, and they're practicing what they preach with that bold, clean package design. More brands should take note, sometimes less really is more.

The money keeps flowing - Another week, another functional NA brand raising serious cash. Last week, it was Calm (as reported here); this week, it's Aplos. If you're not paying attention to this category yet, you're already behind.

New Rules: If you have a second check out their website here. It looks like you're about to buy a $200 sweatshirt from a streetwear brand, not a beverage. And honestly? That's the point. These new age NA teams aren't following the old beverage playbook, they're Shopify stores with growth hackers calling the shots, not "20 years of distributor relationships" guys. The game has changed.

THIS WEEK’S HOT JOBS IN BEVERAGES

These roles came to us via personal recommendations (not public job boards). Want your open role featured? Email: [email protected] 👇️ 

• Manager, Supplier Insights - SGWS - Miami, FL

• National Sales Director - Carbliss - Remote

• On-Premise Manager - Carbliss - Daytona Beach, FL

• Market Manager - Carbliss- Tallahasse, FL

• Brand Manager Patron - Bacardi - Miami, FL

• National Accounts Director - LA Libations - Bentonville, AR

• Senior Director, Business Analytics - Breakthru - Toronto, Canada

THANKS FOR READING

The Quench Report is a free weekly newsletter from Thirsty Insights, a beverage alcohol consulting company that serves top clients in strategy, insights, and analytics.

Any questions, please email us at [email protected]